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#12595

I know wearing a thong and low cut jeans will highlight the fact that I'm wearing a thong. Everyone stares at my ass. Mission accomplished.

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22

January

2012

by:

Kris

Category:

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#12593

My girlfriend has sleeping pills. Last night when she was taking one I asked if, after she fell asleep, I could have sex with her. She said yes, and was kind of excited by this. She went to bed and didn't wear any pants. I had sex with her while she was asleep.

Good one!!! (1)

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22

January

2012

by:

Candie

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12643

Last night, I cheated on my current girlfriend.
It's not the first time, and I don't think it'll be the last.
I love spending time with her, but as soon as she's not around, I forget she exists.
I would split with her, but it'd rip her heart out as she really does love me... I just don't share the feeling.
I've told her that I'm not into monogamous relationships, but I have a feeling she thinks I was kidding.
Do I continue cheating and get caught, or tell her straight?

Good one!!! (12)

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22

January

2012

by:

mutur44

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12592

I'd kill myself anytime just out of curiosity of what goes on the other side. It's not that I don't wanna live, I just wanna see what the fuck we fear so much. I would do it if I knew nobody would be unhappy with my death. And whomever is already typing: "guess what nobodiy would be unhappy" or something in the likes, be original, dumbass.

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18

January

2012

by:

Sherlyn

Category:

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#12617

Gday guys,

Have just got my very first iphone and genuinely enjoy it, though that is beside the point. Apparently, I just have to try some of those iphone casino games and really have no idea how to begin. I know, I can easily Google and bing all sorts of things, however I would prefer to get some good guidelines from human beings.

My question goes: which type of iphone casino do you suggest? As far as my knowledge goes there are casinos that you must download for playing and those that can be used without the installing. So which ones could you consider a better option? I would also appreciate it if you give your reasons.

If it's important: I use iphone 3gs and I mean to play for real money.

Regards.

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18

January

2012

by:

Magwire

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12602

I am married and one of my husbands best friends buys me things all the time. I do not love him or even like him like that, but he continues to buy me stuff. My husband says that if he wants to do that then it is his decission, but I feel funny about it. I sure do have a nice grand piano though!

Good one!!! (1)

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18

January

2012

by:

Irish

Category:

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#12591

I'm 20 (male). My cousin is 14 (female), tops. She's not pretty or hot. She's a bit overweight. When I'm on the sofa laying down watching my nails grow she sits on the other end (lifts up my legs and sits under them) and starts touching my legs and caressing me. I have a lot of cousins and I'm the only one she does that with. It's killing me because I can't get a hard on... nor can I hit it. It's not the best feeling ever.

Good one!!! (0)

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18

January

2012

by:

Karcy

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12588

A few nights ago, I was helping my buddy move out of his apartment. He lived with his girlfriend, but they have been going through some troubles and she was spending an awful lot of time with her ex. Such as sleeping in the same bed with him, and then saying that they didn't have sex. I don't know why they were together, he doesn't pick winners, but oh well. She even told me about how her ex had a big cock and how much she loved it. That would've been a red flag right there for him to split, but he didn't.

She was supposedly at work, therefore I thought it would be a perfect time for him to get his stuff out of there and avoid confrontation. We drive past TGIFridays on the way and see that her car isn't there. Then, at the apartment, we also find that she isn't there either. She's also not answering her phone. Now, I figured it was pretty much over between them, but he still freaks out and goes to the ex-bf's place. He can't let it go.

Her car is parked there. Bingo! He knocks on the door for like 5 minutes. He's really pissed. He has a restraining order against the dude, and thinks that the dude can't do anything to him, but I inform him that restraining orders don't work if you seek the person out. So after banging on the door for awhile... nothing happens, no one answers. I tell him that they probably aren't on the couch watching The Price is Right. We start moving his shit out, the whole fucking point of the evening.

He freaks out, and demands that I give him my cellphone so he can leave her a voicemail. I tell him no, just ignore her, so he goes to the neighbor's house to use their phone.

"When you're done fucking Brian, come back to the apartment. Bye" Great. You're gonna bring the bitch here. This is exactly what I need.

We find out that the apartment resembles Chernobyl, only less radioactive. There's a dirty diaper laying on the floor, the couch is all moved around, there's trash, newspapers, all kinds of shit strewn around. There's also a little baggy of soup on the floor, that was probably her hidden stash in the couch cushions.

My friend goes into the bedroom, finds her little fannypack that she keeps her tips in. She's a bartender and has like $400 in cash just sitting in her room. He samples a little from it, taking a $20 and a few singles. I also swipe a $20 and Offfice Space on DVD.

So, we're done moving his shit into his car, and just as we're walking out to leave we hear a noise POS car. "That's her car" The white one? "Yep." Fuckin' A. Needless to say, she's pissed. She's even pissed at me, even though we always got along. "You are not allowed in my apartment anymore!"

They go inside and the door is slammed, I'm left outside. I put my ear to the door and I hear her on the phone with the cops. Fuck. I knock on the door to try and get my friend out of there so we can leave. She opens the door and just yells "No, You're not coming in here!" and slams it.

I hide. I would've driven away but I rode with my friend. The cop pulls up and walks into the apartment. This is when I make my escape, using shadows as concealment just like Splinter Cell.

I find out later that the cop made him give her back the key to the appt, plus $40 since she claimed she was missing like $80 (I guess he took more than I thought he did, I kinda wish I got some extra)

Long story short, I had to walk home in the cold for an hour, but at least I got $20 and Office Space out of it!

Good one!!! (1)

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18

January

2012

by:

Dontarrious

Category:

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#12594

Today, I stuck a birthday candle about an inch and a half into my penis.

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18

January

2012

by:

Danice

Category:

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#12603

One time at a family christmas party the kids and I were playing hide and go seek. We were at one of my aunts house which was huge and I hid in the closet with the coats and purses. While I was hiding I got in one of my other aunts purses and saw like 5 one hundred dollar bills. I took two and closed everything back up. I was never worried about getting caught because I was never considered the 'bad sheep' of the family and there were so many cousins there it would have been darn near impossible to figure out who had done it. No one ever said anything about it and I was one rich 13 year old!

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18

January

2012

by:

Coltin

Category:

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#12614

When I was about 9 or 10 I somehow found out how to masturbate. I remember that it made me feel all "hot" or something in my groin and then I had these spasms. Nothing came out, but I knew it was something I liked doing quite a lot. So what did I do with this newfound knowledge? Well I taught my brother how to do it the next week. Before we knew it, we were jacking off together all the time. One thing led to another and (sparing those sensitive to this sort of thing the details) we ended up in a rather length homosexual incestuous sort of routine until I was about 14 or 15. I carried this secret with me forever. We were nearly caught by various members of our family on a number of occassions. We never talk about it anymore. Not a single time. Recently I brought it up with my therapist and he made me feel a ton more comfortable with it. He said that a suprisingly large portion of human beings experiment sexually with a sibling or cousin at these ages and it's nothing to be ashamed about. I know it doesn't really affect my life as much as you might think it would nowadays, but it was good to hear that from the doctor. I hope I'm not alone on this.

Good one!!! (1)

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18

January

2012

by:

ohhboyme

Category:

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#12590

When pumped, my kirk is as big as a coke can. Which is almost 8 inches around.

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18

January

2012

by:

Kevrell

Category:

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#12637

I am a girl and I love to pee outside. If I have a chance, I would rather pee outside than inside. I only poop inside though. I like the smell of my pee on dirt.

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16

January

2012

by:

trubbiftitype

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12634

When I was in highschool, I would put my dirty tampons in other peoples gym lockers.

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15

January

2012

by:

durtytampont

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#12635

I wish I had a toned, sexy core.

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15

January

2012

by:

durtytampont

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#12636

I know zombies don't exist but I always think I'm going to be attacked by one. Particularly when I walk out to my car for work in the early morning when it's still pitch black dark. I live in the middle of nowhere so there's plenty of places for zombies to hide. Also, if I walk around the house at night when it's dark, I always think there's something looking in my windows. This morning before going to work, I thought about the video for Thriller and for the first time in years, it scared the hell out of me.

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15

January

2012

by:

zombiesarehere

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#12596

've done plenty of things I don't care to admit. This isn't necessarily one of them, but it's something I've never told anyone except for a few police officers and some doctors.

When I was 19, I had a girlfriend. We'll call her Maude. Maude and I were in love, deep in that clingy and nervous pit of love that 19 year olds are or were famous for. It was fireworks and orgasms and waking in night sweats for 6 months before she got pregnant.

Maude was generous, and her heart was like a sponge. She wanted to have the baby. She believed with all the power of blind love that the strength of us and the love of us could raise a child, move a mountain and come back to the hammock for an afternoon nap ... Stuck in the pit of my affection for her and trapped by the bonds we had built, I agreed with all of me. I said as sure as I love you I will quit school and get a job and support us and we'll be parents.

I did it. Our parents hated us.

Near the beginning of the third trimester there were complications. At first, her being sick with child was new to us and we assumed that her problems were common ones: After all, don't all women vomit blood during pregnancy? We went to the doctor, who after a sonogram and some tests, frowned. His eyebrows all heavy he told us that as sure as he was a doctor, it was either her or the baby.

Maude, God bless you, you should have just picked you. And she was the sort of girl to believe in miracles and prayer while I was the sort of boy who didn't know what to do at all. She held on to the baby, and we argued about names and all the while she was paler and weaker.

On April 17th of that year, she lost a beautiful boy in the bathroom. She was alone when it happened. I got home several hours later to one of the most horrific scenes I've ever witnessed: The amount of blood in the bathroom and on the floor was staggering, and I have no frame of reference with which to quantify... The boy was laying blue on the white and now red tile, the cord still attached to her. I am crying again.

I remember just sort of slumping down and weeping and she, curled up near the toilet, blood in her hair and on her hands, began to stir and I suddenly had a burst of energy. I took a towel from the wall and covered her. I told her to stay still. That I would get help. I threw a towel on the baby and the blood started to seep through where it touched the ground.

I ran to the phone.

I called the police. Send help my girlfriend is dying.

She survived and we broke up about two weeks later. I haven't spoken to her since then, but through mutual friends I've found out that she and her now husband have adopted two children, the second fairly recently.

I told my family that we had an abortion.

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15

January

2012

by:

Marge

Category:

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#12629

I frequently piss in the sink. I know lots of guys have confessed that.

But the reason I do it is because the gf doesn't like to give blow jobs if I have gone to the bathroom after I have had a shower. so I will piss in the sink so she doesn't hear the toilet flush.
She thinks I have a cast iron bladder.

Good one!!! (35)

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15

January

2012

by:

earneroDrob

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12627

So I'm at this NYE party last night (in a different state) with the Mrs. We are all toasted and enjoying the music. I girl standing next to me asked for a cig. I obliged and started chatting with her. She went to the same high school as two of my siblings. When the Mrs. went to the restroom, the girl started rubbing her crotch against my hand while we talked. She stood there and did it for about five minutes, until the Mrs. came back from the can. Unfortunately, the Mrs. saw it happening and asked me if that was what I was doing. I lied and said "why would you think I would do something horrible like that?".

I can't wait for the next party I go to.

Good one!!! (12)

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14

January

2012

by:

trubbiftitype

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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#12626

A few years ago, I attempted suicide. I placed the gun in my mouth, angled it upwards, and pulled the trigger. It was like "Man on Fire." Nothing happened. I never attempted again.

Good one!!! (12)

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14

January

2012

by:

trubbiftitype

Category:

Boy / Girlfriend

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